Excuse me while I rant

Okay, so for the past few days I’ve been in a really, really shitty mood. I mean, really shitty. I’ve been the sort of miserable arsehole that even I’d like to punch. And here’s the thing, I’ve no idea why. Really – no idea at all. Mrs Nobbs keeps asking, “What’s up?” and then saying “Talk to me,” and to be honest, it’s just making it worse.

Do you ever get that? Do you get in a shitty mood and you don’t know why? And because you don’t know why, you mood gets even worse. And people around just make it worse by trying to make you feel better and in the end you just want to run off somewhere and find some field and scream and scream until it’s all out of your system?

Well, this is my field. And I’m too much of a bloke to scream. So I’ll rant instead. I’ll rant about all the shit that has been getting on my nerves this week. The media, the government, the media.

I’m going to start with Harriet Harman. Deputy leader of the Labour party, which she won by ballot of the members, but her won leader didn’t trust her enough to make her Deputy Prime Minister. Mind you, her leader is Gordon Brown.

She’s minister for Equality and women or something like that. why do we even need a minister for women? Do we have a minister for Men? I think we should. A Minister who understands that sometimes we just need to sit on the loo and shit in piece and so what if we take a book or a newspaper with us. A man’s crapper should be his one sanctuary. His one place where he can contemplate the world and fiddle with his willy. And when it’s not…. Well, that’s why we buy sheds.

Anyway, I was moaning about Harriet Harman. At the TUC conference yesterday, she came out with the most left-wing, old-skool-labour crap I’ve ever heard. She said that the labour government have solved all the equality problems in terms of race, gender and disability (which they haven’t, but that’s a different point) and now it was time to tackle ‘Wealth equality’.

“Wealth Equality”?? That sounds a like like “Wealth redistribution” to me. Take it of those who’ve got it and give to those who haven’t. Well as someone who had nothing, and has worked damned hard to get something, I don’t want it taken off me and given to someone who hasn’t worked as hard as I have, thank you very much. I’m from very much a working class background. I don’t have ‘family money’ behind me. But through working hard at school and university, I’m much better off now. Yes, there are people who’re even better off – very very better off, truth be told, but they’ve worked for what they’ve got too and I don’t begrudge them.

But actually, Harman was talking about “Equality of opportunity”. Apparently, a less able child from a “rich” background will overtake a more able child from a “poor” background (she’d class anyone not on benefits as rich, and on benefits as poor) by the age of 6. Now, could this be because the parents of the ‘rich’ child value education more than those of the ‘poor’ child and so actually help to educate him. You know, things like talking to the child, reading books with him, drawing, writing, painting etc.

I was from a ‘poor’ background, but my parents wanted me to work hard – they valued my education and I had just as many opportunities as I wanted. It’s all about making the best of what you’ve got and not making excuses – which far too many people in this country do. one excuse after another.

Take fuel bills. All the left wingers want the energy companies to suffer a windfall tax to help ‘poor’ people pay the bills. When actually, if they went out and worked a few hours overtime, they’d be able to pay them. It’s what I have to do. Why should the couple down the road who don’t realise that condoms are cheaper than children be any different? Oh, yes, I forgot, they are disadvantaged. The fact that their disadvantage is that they are too stupid to not re-produce and don’t want to work hard enough for anyone to want to give them a job is neither here nor there.

If she wants to “tackle” this “travesty” and make sure everyone gets the same opportunities, why don’t they make sure the damn kids turn up to school in the first place. And then when they’re there, it’d help if they got on with studying instead of trying to disrupt everyone else because they are ‘bored’. School isn’t an entertainment venue. You’re there to work. So bloody well work. Even if it is boring.

I could go on, but I think you get the jist. You can expect more of this over the next few weeks. It’s party conference season. The LibDems are always good for a laugh, and watching Gordon suffer at the hands of his own party should be fun. But you can bet that most of the policies they come out with are going to annoy the shit out of me. And if they do, I’ll rant. It’s what I do. It makes me feel better.

On a different note, I’ve opened a twitter account. So now I’ll be able to rant a lot more often.

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