It's been a fascinating few days working on Chapter 30 of A Healing Love.
This chapter was always going to be one of the toughest to write, as it depicts Paul attending a political speech—one that presents a viewpoint I know some readers might find contentious.
This isn’t the first time I’ve woven political opinions into my work. Readers may recall the clash between Chris and Colonel Burnett over the Iraq War in Lost & Found. That experience was… enlightening. I even received a “review bomb” from one reader who felt a “foreign author” had no right to criticize their president.
The challenge with incorporating characters’ political views is the risk of readers conflating them with the author’s own. It requires careful crafting to present these opinions in a way that acknowledges opposing viewpoints, making it difficult to discern the author’s personal stance.
This chapter presents an even greater challenge. Because it centers around a political speech, it would be all too easy for it to morph into a manifesto, blurring the lines between character and author. (Ahem, looking at you, Ayn Rand.)
As with Chapter 29, I’ve been using Gemini as a writing partner. My process involves writing a few hundred words, feeding them into Gemini, reviewing and either incorporating or discarding its suggestions, and repeating the cycle until I’m satisfied. It’s like having a development editor on speed dial, providing feedback in seconds rather than days.
Because I’ve specifically instructed Gemini not to rewrite my text (examples are fine, but I handle the actual rewriting myself), I can confidently say this is still my own work.
Here’s an example of the kind of feedback I’m getting from Gemini:
This continuation of the scene is well-written and effectively builds anticipation for Doctor Bennett’s lecture. The description of Henry’s introduction and the audience’s reaction is realistic and engaging.
Strengths:
- Effective Setting: The description of the seminar room and the audience creates a strong sense of place.
- Character Development: Henry’s behavior during the introduction further reinforces his personality. His reference to Lana beating him in a debate adds a nice touch.
- Building Anticipation: The build-up to Doctor Bennett’s introduction is well-paced and creates a sense of anticipation. The details about her accomplishments and influence are effective in establishing her importance.
- Realistic Reactions: The description of the audience’s reaction to Doctor Bennett’s entrance is realistic and adds to the atmosphere.
- Smooth Transition: The transition from Henry’s introduction to Doctor Bennett’s entrance is seamless.
Weaknesses and Further Suggestions:
- Minor Pacing Issue (Henry’s Introduction): The list of guest speakers Henry introduced last term feels a bit long and slows the pacing slightly. While it’s meant to emphasize his position and the importance of the Union, it could be condensed.
- Slightly Generic Description: The description of Henry having a “presence” and being a “genuine example of the privilege and advantage that money can buy” is a bit generic. You could make this more specific by adding a detail or two about his appearance or demeanor.
- Unclear Motivation (Standing Ovation): While it’s understandable that the audience would applaud Doctor Bennett, a full standing ovation feels a bit excessive, especially given that she hasn’t even spoken yet. This could be made more believable by either toning down the reaction or providing a reason for such enthusiastic applause (e.g., she’s a former student of the university, she’s just published a groundbreaking book, etc.).
As you can see, Gemini offers valuable insights, highlighting both strengths and weaknesses. While it does provide suggested rewrites for the weaknesses, I use its feedback to inform my own revisions.
This approach has been incredibly useful.
Just last night, after writing about halfway through the event Paul attends, I realized the chapter was becoming quite lengthy. I thought I had a natural breaking point and asked Gemini for its opinion. The response not only confirmed it was a good place to pause but also provided compelling reasons why.
The result? I’ve actually finished Chapter 30 and am already halfway through Chapter 31. I’ll be posting Chapter 30 on Ream Stories this evening before diving back into Chapter 31 and tackling the most interesting—and therefore most challenging—part of the speech. I’m excited to see where it goes.
