You can’t pay them, they’re dead.

As some of you might or might not know, I work in a law firm and look after all the money that comes into and goes out of the office. You see some interesting things in this job. For example, today we had a client buy a property worth £1.4million (that’s what, $2.8milion), and they haven’t even sold their old house yet. Instead they’ve taken a whopping big bridging loan from the bank. But when they do sell their old place (which is now sitting empty), they’ll be mortgage free. Makes you sick, doesn’t it?

One of the things that always catches my eye is when we receive cheques or invoices from companies in relation to the estates of deceased clients. For example, I’ve seen many invoices in the name of Mr A N Other Deceased. I’ve actually seen red utility bills made out in this way. Red ones! The kind where they threaten to cut you off if you don’t pay. Somehow, I don’t think the dead person will mind all that much if they can’t watch Richard & Judy with the gas fire on full. Do you?

But this one got me. Today, we received a cheque payable to a deceased client. Not unusual, happens all the time. But this one was from the care home where she was living. It was a refund of her fees since she no longer required the room on account of being dead. You think they’d know she was dead and know not to make the cheque out to her, wouldn’t? I mean, she died there for Christ’s sake.

I despair, I really do.

To other matters, I’m working on a new Ladz “Local Lovelies” story. The first draft is about halfway done. This one features Carla, an Estate Agent from Birmingham, who appeared in Ladz because her friend Rebecca (star of the last Ladz story) told her it was a good way to get cock.

Carla describes herself as

“…a real life walking cliché—from my bleach blonde curls and big tits to the sexy undies I wear to work in case I get lucky with a client. And that’s without mentioning my insatiable need for cock.”

I’ll let you know how I’m getting on with it.

See ya,

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